Do NOT Judge A Book By it’s Cover. A look into ME.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret about ME.

If you know me, you probably are like most people who think I’m a positive happy person. I’m not saying that to toot my horn, but that’s something I am told a lot, and I take pride in that. I love making people smile and looking at the bright side of things.
I have always been the smiley girl who loves pink and all things girly… but I haven’t always truly been HAPPY with myself. It’s easy for me to smile and ignore my feelings. I hid the negative thoughts I had for YEARS. People knowing me had no idea what was going on inside my head. That is why I have decided to tell you a lot about me. It is very personal, and even my closest friends and family don’t even know this about me…. but I don’t want you to think I’m the picture of health, happiness, and fitness. I am NOT. I have struggled and I used to HATE myself. I mean HATEEEE myself.

So here goes nothing…

It started in high school when I was dating a guy that never really took me seriously, I “dated” him for 3 or 4 years and I say dated because it was an on-again off-again kind of thing. I used to beg for him to want to be with me. LADIES AND GENTS… You will find someone who knows they are lucky to have you… NEVER try to prove someone your worth, they will know it if they are the right person for you. My freshman year of college I finally got some sense to realize this was a one-way street and I was tired of trying. So we broke up, and I remember the day, I remember the place, I remember EVERYTHING. That was the first day I decided I can’t control things in my life, but I can control something… I made myself throw up my dinner I had with the ex. I remember crying at the same time, and yet I thought, this is something I CAN control. So, not only is this the most disgusting and embarrassing thing I’ve ever done, I got a high off of it. I continued to do it regularly for almost a year. (IN A COLLEGE DORM BATHROOM MIGHT I ADD- UMM GROSS) I told my friends and they helped me stay accountable. I stopped making myself throw up regularly but instead now I was examining every calorie of every morsel of everything I ate. I WAS OBSESSED, I was NOT fun to be around bc I would flat out tell people when they offered me a bite of their food “No thanks that has too many calories for me” Is that the kind of person you want to be around? Someone that makes you be self conscious about eating YOGURT? I remember I said that to a friend about her YOGURT. Well, I would bounce back and forth here and there and feel bad about a meal I ate and then go back to my old ways. My friends actually HEARD me throwing up in a public restaurant bathroom once and said, “APRIL YOU NEED TO GET A GRIP, We love you but enough is enough.” I hated myself, in my mind I was the fattest, ugliest, most worthless person in the WORLD. 🙁

It would be here and there maybe once every 4-6 months that I would purge up until I went to grad school, then I felt that I could control that… but I still HATED myself. Every morning I would look in the mirror and put myself down. It was an awful feeling, I was unhappy and depressed all the time. But then this boy came along, and he changed my whole world. Every night I got a text that said, “Good night, Beautiful” and every morning he would call and say “Good morning, Gorgeous.” The man I fell in love with still tells me this to this day. I can’t believe how much he has changed my life. With his constant encouragement, I was starting to believe that I really was beautiful, I really did have value, I was pretty funny, and yes, I am a pretty good catch. This boy has turned my life around and has made me a happier, healthier, and altogether better person. I was lucky and did not have to have extreme therapy minus talking to a counselor once a week. But I ENCOURAGE YOU to talk to SOMEONE close to you. You need a support group to help you with any self-confidence issues. I’m here to support you in any way I can, but it is important to seek support to help you heal your mind and body.

This is why becoming a BEACHBODY Health Coach has been so rewarding for me. I get someone once a week telling me how motivating my FB posts are, how I’ve helped change their life. DO you Know how AWESOME that feels to have people say that to me? I’ve lost 25 pounds since grad school through high intensity workouts and clean eating and Shakeology, a meal replacement. I AM THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN. I want to help you on your health and fitness journey! Are you looking to help others feel better about themselves? I am hiring coaches to be a part of my team, please contact me so I can help you feel fulfilled as well as FUEL your bank account. BeachBody is paying for our wedding!! 🙂 MAY 17, 2014!!! I am so freaking excited!! 🙂 Thank you for reading my story, I hope to have inspired you to realize that if I can do it, you can do it. It’s not that you CAN’T have the body you want, it’s that you WON’T.  Get off the couch, and let me help you reach your goals!! 🙂

Xo,

April